Mikarrhea

My goodness. My name is on the celebrated crush list! I guess Guffman really was in the audience. As Divine's Dawn Davenport, having been sentenced to die in the electric chair, effervesces in Female Trouble, "That's the highest honor a person can get in my field!"

Not only am I on Jim's crush list, but somehow I find myself added (twice!) into the pantheon of "Blogger of the Year" nominees! [swoon] As I wrote to my sweet Michael Wells (whom I haven't yet met, but who now will definitely rake in a sizable end-of-the-year bonus) it's sort of like a Macarthur. Without the money. And without the prestige. And with a little residue of horniness. Like Monica's dress.

Questions: 1) Do I have to keep writing about masturbating to stay on the list (maybe I should adopt carpe pudendum as my motto, or si quaeris pudendum amoenam circumspice)? 2) Do I get a prize? 3) Has Jim ever actually read my blog? 4) Why isn't my name in his blogroll, then? 5) Does Jim ever hang out at the bead store in Harvard Square? 6)Is Jim's last name pronounced as you would expect--burl (Ives, Uncle Miltie)? Or is it like Wm. Cecil, Lord Burleigh* (Karl "Turd Blossom"Rove to Elizabeth Tudor's George Bush)?

I've mentioned before that Female Trouble is one of my favorite movies of all time. In cobbling together the links above, I found a site that has mov. files of some of the most lyrical moments in the film (a fortiori, in all of cinema). So for those who haven't ever experienced the subtle meditation on the nature of beauty that is FT, as well as for those who have but can never get enough of the snappy dialogue, I've captured some links. Here's Dawn on the difficulty of raising a young girl nowadays. Here's Dawn's mother-in-law, Aunt Ida (Edie Massey) on the heterosexual lifestyle. Here's Dawn's daughter, Taffy (Mink stole), wittily deflecting the strange suggestion by her stepfather, Gator, that she come join "Daddy" in bed and perform an inappropriately intimate service.


*A fabulous passage about Burleigh from Cobbett's Hist. of the Prot. Reformation: "[I]f success in unprincipled artifice, if fertility in cunning devices, if the obtaining of one's ends without any regard to the means, if in this pursuit sincerity be set at nought, and truth, law, justice, and mercy be trampled underfoot, if, so that you succeed in your end, apostasy, forgery, perjury, and the shedding of innocent blood be thought nothing of, this Cecil was certainly the greatest statesman that ever lived."