Random neuron firing, lame philosophy, literary pontificating, movies, sex, clothes & other femme stuff

Saturday, December 20, 2003

The right outfit can make all the difference

I was just looking over that last post below and it occurred to me how important the "laboratory drag" is, not just to the sexiness of the scene qua scene, but also to the scientific legitimacy of it. If scientists were attaching a plethysmograph to your clit and sticking moisture sensors into your vagina, wouldn't you prefer they be wearing clean white (or maybe hospital green) lab coats? Before we go any farther on this line, let's all just imagine as vividly as we can (c'mon, boys too, this is fun) someone attaching a plethysmograph to our clit and sticking moisture sensors into our vagina, even though few us can even distinguish a plethysmograph from a vaginal moisture sensor, or either from a zarf. Don't the white coats really make all the difference? OK, now let's imagine listening to the keynote address and mingling at the subsequent open bar at the annual genital arousal testing device trade group convention and getting really sloshed. OK, now back to the examining room. Imagine if the scientists were wearing old jeans and t-shirts. Wouldn't that be somehow disrespectful--both to you and, well, to science itself? Would you feel as inclined to have your pussy-responses studied by people in jeans and t-shirts? Certainly, even the scientists would recognize that that might distract you from the project at hand and skew the results. What if the scientists were wearing three-piece Armani suits? OK, don't lose focus here. Would it be any different if they wore three-piece Brooks Brothers' suits and idiotic guys' dress shoes with little holes all over them and tassels on the laces? And they were all women and beautifully made up? Is it better or worse than the lab coats? Than the jeans? OK, what if they all were wearing leather chaps without any underwear? And had lots of remarkable piercings? Are you still with me? Are you still feeling the plethysmograph and the moisture sensors? And the nipple clamps? What if you were in a room with a dozen people all of whom were naked and hooked up to arousal sensing machines and the others told you they were all scientists? Or only some of them were scientists and you had to determine which ones in a given amount of time while your level of arousal was recorded? What if somebody ran into the examining room and yelled "Smile, you're on Candid Plethysmograph!"?

When I was little, I always wanted to become a scientist.

Don't tell me it doesn't make a difference what you wear to work.
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