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Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Quiz on Bush's speech



So you think you were paying attention to George Bush's words at the Air Force Academy Graduation yesterday? See if you can fill in the blanks in the following quotations from Bush's speech with the actual words he used! If you really can't figure out the right answer, here's the text of the speech.


  1. Each of you receiving a commission today in the United States military will _____________________________.

    1. be expected to vote for me this November
    2. also be awarded a dinner for two at the Olive Garden along with two tickets to a special military matinée of Mamma Mia
    3. also receive notice your commission may be arbitrarily extended for an indefinite period at the whim of Secretary Rumsfeld
    4. also win a complete set of American Tourister luggage in camouflage ballistic nylon practical for armoring Humvees too
    5. also carry the hopes of free people everywhere
    6. from now on have to surrender for the duration of your service any and all photographic or video recording equipment in your possession



  2. In some ways, this struggle we're in is unique. In other ways, _______________________________________________________.

    1. it's one of a kind
    2. it's not a struggle at all
    3. it's Vietnam all over again
    4. it resembles the great clashes of the last century
    5. there will be adverse consequences



  3. Fighting this kind of enemy is a complex mission that will require ______________________________.

    1. the Impossible Missions Force
    2. 500 billion more dollars
    3. my re-election
    4. minimizing political dissent by any means available
    5. the abrogation of the Geneva Conventions
    6. occasionally torturing evildoers to death
    7. all your skill and resourcefulness
    8. much lying on the administration's part



  4. Our goal, the goal of this generation, is the same: ____________________________________________________________________________.

    1. Power
    2. A comfortable retirement
    3. To be famous
    4. Screwing the generation behind us
    5. We will secure peace and defend our nation through the forward march of freedom
    6. We will defend our nation and secure our freedom through the forward march of peace
    7. We will secure our defense and advance peace forward through the march of freedom
    8. We will defend our nation's security through the forward march of peace
    9. We will march forward into peace and freedom with the security our defenses provide
    10. We will march forward to defend peace and our nation's security and freedom
    11. We will march freedom forward to secure our nation's defense and our peace
    12. We will secure our nation and defend the peace through the forward march of freedom
    13. We will defend our security and free peace to march our nation forward in purity and essence of our precious bodily fluids


  5. ____________ believe that _________________are essentially corrupt and decadent.

    1. Guelphs, Ghibellines
    2. Symphony performers, rap stars
    3. New Critics, Literary Theorists
    4. Christian monks, major corporations
    5. Elves, Orcs
    6. Christian fundamentalists, homosexuals
    7. The Nazis, abstract artists
    8. Communists, the bourgeoisie
    9. Freedom-lovers, terrorists
    10. Terrorists, free societies
    11. Evolutionary psychologists, radical scientists
    12. Republicans, Democrats
    13. Democrats, Republicans
    14. Supporters of N.L. teams, designated hitters



  6. With all the skill of our law enforcement, all the stealth of our special forces, and all the global reach of our air power, we will __________________________________


    1. still make fools of ourselves
    2. nevertheless fail to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people, as long as our military controls their country
    3. nevertheless with much fanfare continue to wrongfully arrest Muslims, like that attorney in Seattle we were so sure was involved in the Madrid bombing
    4. strike the terrorists before they can strike our people
    5. still bomb the occasional wedding party by mistake



  7. The terrorist movement feeds on the appearance of ____________________________.


    1. wackiness I cultivate
    2. inevitability
    3. weakness in their opponents
    4. Osama bin Laden videos every few months
    5. Harry Potter videos every few months
    6. butchness their beards bespeak
    7. Punxatawny Phil on February 2nd



  8. Yet the nations of the Middle East will find, as we have found, the only path to true ________________________________________________________________________.


    1. freedom is the path of progress and justice and democracy.
    2. progress is the path of democracy and freedom and justice.
    3. justice is the path of progress and freedom and democracy.
    4. democracy is the path of progress and justice and freedom.
    5. progress is the path of freedom and justice and democracy.




  9. Voices in that region are increasingly demanding __________________________________.


    1. that America leave, immediately
    2. reform and democratic change
    3. security from violence and crime
    4. that we cease closing down in the name of freedom newspapers we believe publish hostile opinions
    5. my head on a platter
    6. reliable electricity
    7. HBO
    8. a regional tour in the forseeable future by Hoobastank


  10. Like ________________________________, the terrorists seek to impose a grim vision in which dissent is crushed, and every man and woman must think and live in colorless conformity.


    1. Pol Pot
    2. Stalin
    3. evildoers everywhere
    4. other totalitarian movements
    5. Congressional Republicans


  11. We will lead the world and keep unrelenting pressure on _______________________.


    1. the UN
    2. the French and the Germans
    3. anyone who dares to cross us
    4. the media to report things our way
    5. the enemy
    6. the sleep-deprived Abu Ghraib detainees
    7. the brave men and women of our Armed Services


Posted by: Mika / 6/02/2004 10:18:00 PM permalink  · 0 comments
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